The Story of a Flawed Democracy

As many of you know, the focus of my work is helping individuals discover, write, and share impactful personal stories. In my view, these stories — human stories — matter most, but some stories come from non-human entities. For example, businesses have stories to tell, as do cities, states and countries. You could also posit that the planet has stories to tell. And the fact is, the collective actions of these non-human entities have the ability to influence our individual stories. Whenever a new law is enacted, for example, it may alter our life in some way.

In this light I was recently reflecting on the state of democracy around the world today, and how different styles of government might affect our personal stories. This topic could fill thousands of pages, so my goal was to just get a sense of the big picture. As I’ve been playing with AI lately, I was curious as to the insights it would provide. So here goes…

If someone asked you what percentage of the world’s population lived in a true democracy, what would you guess? As I live in a democratic country, the notion of “democracy is the default form of government” quickly came to mind, but as I reflected on this question, countries such as Russia and China challenged that assumption. So I thought I’d ask ChatGPT for some guidance, and I must say, I got more than I bargained for after entering the prompt:

ChatGPT Artificial Intelligence AI

What percentage of the world’s population lives in a democracy?

ChatGPT: As of 2023, approximately 45.4% of the world’s population lives in some form of democracy, according to the Economist Intelligence Unit’s Democracy Index. This includes both “full democracies” and “flawed democracies.” However, only 7.8% reside in “full democracies.” Meanwhile, more than one-third of the global population, about 39.4%, lives under authoritarian regimes.

World Population Review – Democracy Countries 2024
Our World in Data – Democracy Index 2023

—-End of response

My reaction was one of surprise that the number of people living in a democracy was under 50%. What I didn’t count on was a further breakdown that talked of a difference between “full” and “flawed” versions of democracy. Maybe I’m the one who didn’t get the memo, but I hadn’t heard of this distinction before, and I had no idea that less that 10% of the world’s population lived in a “full democracy”.

So I asked:

“What countries are “full democracies”?

ChatGPT: “Full democracies” are countries that score highly in areas like electoral process, civil liberties, functioning of government, political participation, and political culture. According to the 2023 Democracy Index by the Economist Intelligence Unit, examples of “full democracies” include:

1. Norway
2. Iceland
3. Sweden
4. New Zealand
5. Finland
6. Denmark
7. Ireland
8. Switzerland
9. Netherlands
10. Taiwan
11. Luxembourg
12. Germany
13. Canada
14. Australia
15. Uruguay
16. Japan
17. Costa Rica
18. United Kingdom
19. Austria
20. Mauritius
21. South Korea
22. France
23. Spain (Author’s note: recently reclassified as “flawed”)
24. Chile (Author’s note: recently reclassified as “flawed”)

—-End of response

Countries based on level of democracy

It’s a pretty small list, and with one notable omission, the United States. Really? How could that be? In my mind, America had always been held up as a beacon of democracy. But as I continued my line if inquiry, it made perfect sense.

So I asked:

Why is the Unites States not a “full democracy”?

ChatGPT: The United States is classified as a “flawed democracy” rather than a “full democracy” due to several factors identified in the Democracy Index:

1. Political Polarization

• High levels of political polarization and partisan gridlock have weakened the functioning of government. This polarization affects decision-making processes, leading to legislative stagnation and reduced government effectiveness.

2. Decline in Civil Liberties

• There have been concerns over civil liberties, including issues related to freedom of the press, voting rights, and minority protections. This has affected the U.S. score in the areas of political culture and civil liberties.

3. Electoral Integrity

• While the U.S. has a robust electoral process, challenges such as voter suppression, gerrymandering, and disputes over election legitimacy have impacted its democratic standing. The events surrounding the 2020 presidential election, including the January 6 Capitol attack, have further raised concerns about electoral integrity.

4. Public Trust in Institutions

• There has been a significant decline in public trust in government institutions, including Congress and the judiciary. This decline affects political participation and the perceived legitimacy of democratic institutions.

5. Role of Money in Politics

• The influence of money in U.S. politics, particularly through lobbying and campaign financing, has been criticized for undermining democratic accountability and equity in political participation.

These factors collectively contribute to the U.S. being categorized as a “flawed democracy” despite its longstanding democratic traditions and institutions.

—-End of response

The explanation didn’t surprise me, of course, as each of the factors listed were well documented. But I wondered whether this had always been the case, or if the demotion from “full” to “flawed” was a recent event?

So I then prompted:

When did the United States stop being a “full democracy”?

ChatGPT:

The United States was reclassified from a “full democracy” to a “flawed democracy” in 2016 by the Economist Intelligence Unit (EIU). This downgrade was primarily due to increasing polarization, a decline in public trust in institutions, and concerns about the health of democratic norms.

One of the key triggers for the downgrade was the growing perception that the U.S. political system was not fully reflecting the will of its citizens. Political polarization, partly driven by the 2016 presidential election, led to greater division and challenges in effective governance. Additionally, issues such as gerrymandering, voter disenfranchisement, and the outsized influence of money in politics were identified as factors that weakened the quality of democracy in the U.S..

Another significant factor was declining public confidence in key democratic institutions, such as Congress and the judiciary. Trust in government had been falling for years, and the 2016 election cycle highlighted concerns over the fairness of the electoral system, which exacerbated feelings of disenfranchisement among many citizens.

This shift underscored a broader trend of democratic backsliding, as similar downgrades have occurred in other established democracies facing comparable challenges.

—-End of response

Once again, the fact that the U.S. is divided — some would say broken — along political lines has been talked about for many years. But was this demotion unique, or were there other countries that had experience a downward change in their democracy status?

So I asked:

Which counties have been downgraded from a “full democracy” to a “flawed democracy” in recent years?

ChatGPT:

In recent years, multiple countries have been downgraded from “full democracies” to “flawed democracies” by the Economist Intelligence Unit (EIU), largely due to issues in governance, trust, and political stability. Spain and Chile, for instance, were reclassified as flawed democracies in the 2021 index. In Spain, concerns arose over judiciary independence, while in Chile, political instability and significant protests contributed to the downgrade. The UK has also been on the edge of a similar downgrade, driven by scandals around government transparency and rule-breaking during the pandemic, which weakened public trust and engagement.

These changes reflect a broader global trend of democratic backsliding, exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic, economic challenges, and rising populism in many regions.

Democracy Digest – Democracy Review
The Oslo Desk – Decline of Global Democracy

—-End of response

I came away with the feeling that democracy was on the ropes, as various forms of fascism, communism, authoritarianism, totalitarianism increasingly take hold. Which brings me back to the beginning of this post. How might ruling ideologies affect each of our stories? As I consider issues such as climate change, human rights, discrimination, gender equality, education and health, I can’t help but think that the world is heading in the wrong direction, and that there are many more personal stories ahead of us that will illustrate the pain and hardship such a world brings.

So I had one final request for ChatGPT:

Can you create an image that symbolizes broken democracy?

What does the state of fractured global democracy look like?

ChatGPT: Here’s an image symbolizing a broken democracy, showing a cracked statue of justice with tilted scales under a dark, stormy sky. This represents imbalance, weakened rights, and hope for renewal through small growth emerging at the statue’s base.

—-End of response

Franziska Trautmann: Your Empty Wine Bottle Could Help Rebuild Coastlines @ TEDNext 2024

During the week of October 21, 2024 I had the pleasure of attending TEDNext, held in Atlanta. The event is a new initiative from the folks who produce the TED Conference. There were enlightening talks, insightful discussions and revealing discovery sessions. This post is the first in a series highlighting some of my favorite talks from the stage.

In her TED Talk, Franziska Trautmann highlights the power of individual action to create innovative solutions to local environmental challenges. The first problem she noticed was how Louisiana was falling short when it came to recycling glass. The result: about 295 million pounds of glass was ending up in landfills annually. The next problem Franziska identified was the fact that Louisiana was suffering from a coastal erosion crisis. Since glass is made from sand, the logical solution was to turn discarded glass into sand that could be used for coastal restoration.Glass Half Full Founder Franziska Trautmann

To turn their idea into reality, Franziska and her partner founded Glass Half Full, a company that’s diverted millions of pounds of glass from landfills and restored thousands of square meters of wetlands. At just over 5 minutes, her talk is brief, yet clearly highlights the issues, the initiative, the result, and their future plans.


While the talk was top notch, I really wanted it to be longer as there were lots of questions that came to mind: issues around the lack of recycling, the process of turning the glass into sand, alongside how to scale that process, and the nature of the state’s erosion crisis. But that was not to be, as Franziska’s talk was in a session created along with Ignite Talks, which are only 5 minutes in length.

It’s easy to see how this 5 minute talk could be expanded to 15, 30, 45 minutes in length. And that’s not uncommon when it comes to stories that involve social or scientific topics. If this is an issue you’re facing – how to compress a lengthy talk – then study this transcript to see how the main points are laid out in a way that a member of the public can follow and understand.

Transcript

00:04
As a kid growing up on a Louisiana bayou, the boogeyman was the existential threat of my state being washed away with the Mississippi River.

00:16
Louisiana loses a football field’s worth of land every 100 minutes due to coastal erosion. It’s an unimaginably large amount to a kid. But in my lifetime so far, we’ve lost over 600 square miles. That’s more area than New York City, San Francisco, DC and Atlanta combined. It’s due to sea level rise, warming waters, increasingly severe storms and exploration of the oil and gas industry.

00:51
Fast forward to 2020, in my last full semester as an engineering student and over a Two-Buck Chuck, my boyfriend and I lamented over the lack of glass recycling in Louisiana. My state was landfilling about 295 million pounds of glass annually. The bottle we just finished would likely end up in a landfill. It felt like a total waste, and we wanted to figure out how we could get all of this glass recycled.

01:20
The next day, it took a quick Google search to remember that glass comes from sand, and that sand is an increasingly finite resource. We also learned about everything sand is needed for, including toothpaste, by the way. And the last puzzle piece we found was this small, human-sized machine that could crush one bottle at a time into sand, and we jumped into action, setting up a GoFundMe campaign and a pilot project in the backyard of a fraternity house.

01:50
(Laughter)

01:52
Now you might be thinking to yourself, how in the world would two college kids ever be able to make a dent in these problems? And that would be valid. Plenty of people told us the exact same thing. But we didn’t listen, because we knew that no matter how small of an impact we made, it would be worth it. It felt like we could alleviate two problems with one solution: convert the otherwise landfilled glass back into sand and use it in restoration projects across the state. Easy, right?

02:22
(Laughs)

02:25
But we didn’t listen to the haters, which is actually why we named our company Glass Half Full.

02:30
(Laughter)

02:31
But that glass-half-empty mindset might actually be one of the biggest threats we face today. Because climate apathy might be the new climate denial. Meaning that the biggest threat to our environment may no longer be people who deny our part in the changing climate but people who deny that we can actually make a difference.

02:54
Now climate change is happening right before our eyes. It’s terrifying. I’ve witnessed firsthand the severity of rapidly intensifying hurricanes like Ida. But dread, doom and gloom tend to get us nowhere. Whereas hope, combined with action, can be one of the most powerful tools to enact change.

03:15
(Applause)

03:21
Since that late night wine-fueled idea over four years ago, we’ve been able to divert more than eight million pounds of glass from our landfills.

03:30
Thank you.

03:31
(Cheers and applause)

03:34
We quickly grew out of that small, tiny machine and upgraded a lot along the way. We continue to work with over 50 scientists and engineers across the Gulf South. And they helped me learn if this is good-smelling mud or not. But also understanding the interactions of our sand with the plants, animals and even fungi of our region. We’ve also answered difficult scientific questions as well as questions like, can you actually walk on sand made from glass? And I exposed my toes to the internet to answer that.

04:11
In a few short months, we’ll be opening up our new facility, enabling us to recycle the 295 million pounds of glass entering our landfills annually.

04:23
(Cheers and applause)

04:29
And with a combination of biodegradable sandbags and native marsh grasses, we’ve already restored thousands of square meters along our coast, converting open water back into thriving wetlands.

04:41
(Cheers and applause)

04:48
But the key to our success so far isn’t that we had all of the answers in the beginning or tons of money to try this thing out. The key was that we simply started, and we kept going. Somewhere, the belief that we, as individuals, could enact change trumped our doubts. And for us, finding a way to help with a problem much, much bigger than us meant taking that first step. And in our case, it was a step in the sand, in an eroding but once magnificent swamp.

05:22
Thank y’all.

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AI, Information Networks, and Stories: Insights from Nexus, the latest book by Yuval Noah Harari

Note: comments not attributed to the author constitute my personal opinions.

You may be familiar with Yuval Noah Harari, the author of the global bestseller, Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind. Yuval has a way of taking very complex subjects, such as the history of humans, and presenting important highlights, digestible summations, and tangible examples to illustrate his personal views. This time he’s examining how human history has been shaped by information networks, including its most recent incarnation as artificial intelligence (AI) in Nexus: A Brief History of Information Networks from the Stone Age to AI.

In Nexus, Yuval leads us on a recap of human history (sounds familiar), but this time as a way to view our common journey on this planet in the context of how human networks and information networks evolved in tandem.

Information is increasingly seen by many philosophers and biologists, and even by some physicists, as the most basic building block of reality, more elementary than matter and energy.

It was interesting to consider the evolution of cultures from the perspective of how human networks evolved in parallel with information networks. With oral cultures, “…realities were created by telling a story that many people repeated with their mouths and remembered in their brains.” Before the advent of any writing system, personal storytelling was our exclusive information network.

Stone Age Conversation

Image by Franz Bachinger from Pixabay

Similar to how humans act in the modern world, prehistoric humans told each other stories on a daily basis. Many were soon forgotten, but sometimes they were committed to memory. Stories deemed to be important were retold as a way to spread their message, or shared with future generations as a way to enshrine their culture.

But we must also remember that the retelling of any story will introduce some inaccuracies, so in a sense, stories are living entities that, over time, stray from the truth. And beyond the changes that happen to stories unintentionally with retelling, at some point in time, humans figured out how to tell outright lies.

Misinformation is an honest mistake, occurring when someone tries to represent reality but gets it wrong. Disinformation is a deliberate lie, occurring when someone consciously intends to distort our view of reality.

So our information networks have never been completely accurate, but with the advent of writing systems, it was possible to capture a version of the story, such that many people could read the same words. Once again, there was no way to know if what was written was true, leaving humans left to wonder whether any written document was accurate, or was simply preserving another falsehood. Regardless, it was common for the written word to be widely adopted as true. Government decrees and religious texts being two common examples.

But whether true or false, written documents created new realities.

Writing, once performed by hand, was revolutionized by the printing press, then electrified by technology as information was transmitted on radio and television. The birth of the internet allowed us to transfer files and even send emails, while the inception of the world wide web allowed us to be publishers, and for a brief moment, it felt as though personal storytelling — the first information network — was having a renaissance of sorts. Once again, however, the powers that be — both political and corporate — came to control a large portion of the digital landscape, thus shaping the flow of information, both true and false.

All powerful information networks can do both good and ill, depending on how they are designed and used.

Thus it follows that human networks can become ill when they buy into the disinformation promoted by ill-intended information networks. Communist / fascist / marxist / stalinist governments are prime examples. And though the western world has long felt immune to such a fate, disinformation networks, increasingly powered by AI, are active at this very moment, with the intent of dismantling democracy.

We should not assume that delusional networks are doomed to failure. If we want to prevent their triumph, we will have to do the hard work ourselves.

Artificial intelligence is often seen as just another technological upgrade, but it’s fundamentally different. To date, the stories we share, whether they are true or false, or intended to do good or cause harm, were created and disseminated by humans. With AI, we must now confront the fact that “nonhuman intelligence” has that same capability. Are we ready for nonhuman wisdom?

The invention of AI is potentially more momentous than the invention of the telegraph, the printing press, or even writing, because AI is the first tool that is capable of making decisions and generating ideas by itself.

Pause for a moment and consider that concept. Rather than only consuming our information in order to paraphrase its meaning, AI creating content on its own is akin to it being a nonhuman storyteller. I’m not sure where this capability will go, but I fail to see the upside. As AI can’t experience anything in the real world, how will it craft a narrative? For example, a hurricane hitting a major city will result in a great deal of information being created — facts and figures, as well as various predictions, followed by news reports, interviews, and first hand accounts. Only humans will be able to tell those stories, right? Or will AI be able to generate its own version of what is happening? And how will we know the difference?

More than ever, the personal stories we share are of vital importance. The only way that positive change has ever occurred is by sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences. But with AI, is our birthright of being the sole source of stories at risk? For me, that question was top of mind after reading Nexus.

If a twenty-first-century totalitarian network succeeds in conquering the world, it may be run by nonhuman intelligence, rather than by a human dictator.

We’ve already seen cases where AI was used by humans to influence elections and stoke hatred between different cultures. What will happen if humans are removed from the equation altogether? It may be a long shot, but I’m thinking we need to create as many true, personal stories as we can for AI to consume. My hope is that in doing so, we can inject AI with a sense of human empathy, morality, compassion and respect.

Nexus by Yuval Noah Harari

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Justin Black: The Story Statistics Don’t Tell @ TEDxFolsom

The most impactful TEDx Talks are those which can alter our perspective on a subject of consequence. Sometimes that means clarifying the nature of a critical problem, or framing it in a way that adds relevance to our lives. Even though we were already aware of the situation, we now see it in a different light. In some instances, however, a speaker will introduce us to a topic we were not aware of before, or use a term that we’re unfamiliar with to describe an issue.

This was the case for me when Justin Black began describing his experience with inherited trauma. I’ve worked with a number of speakers whose childhood was affected by traumatic family situations, and our conversations included their relationship with family members, but I hadn’t thought of their experiences from a standpoint of inheritance. Justin’s talk at TEDxFolsom altered my perspective.

“And simply, what you can do, is be one caring adult. Not just working to help someone beat the odds, but change the odds for families and communities for generations and generations to come.”

Although the experiences of our youth impact us, often times negatively, we have the option of acting differently in adulthood, and thus, prevent the next generation from going down a similar path. But it requires awareness of these impacts, and a commitment to make conscious decisions that will create a better future, and as Justin demostrates, it’s possible.

As you watch his talk, take note of how Justin explains the issue in a number of ways: describing his experiences (both while growing up and later as an adult) meeting the woman who he would later marry and become parents with, and providing details on the ACES Assessment. At times his talk is painful, while at other times joyful. A key element that makes the narrative flow, is his use of humor.

There’s a transcript of his talk below, and I invite you to give it a read, as you’ll come to see how Justin structured his talk and transitioned from one story element to the next.

If you want to know more about the journey that Justin and Alexis have been on, as they help the world redefine what normal looks like I highly recommend reading their book, Redefining Normal.

Re-defining Normal by Justin and Alexis Black

Transcript

July 11, 2016, a day I would never forget, in the week that changed my life forever. I was a freshman at Western Michigan University, starting an orientation week at my scholarship program. And on the first day of orientation, I walked into a busy room filled with conversation. As a nervous freshman, I tried to find a table with the least amount of people, farthest in the back.

I came across a table with three students, and one student in particular, told me all about her summer of studying abroad in South Africa. I mean, from bungee jumping, shark cage diving, sky diving, even getting four tattoos while there. And then, it was my turn to tell her about my amazing summer, as a waiter at TGI Fridays.

But all in all, college for me was an opportunity to have a fresh start. Not a fresh start that showcased my authenticity, but pretty much the opposite. For me, I wanted to bury the memories of being the kid who didn’t have heat on Christmas morning. I wanted to bury the memories of being the kid who had his water cut off at various times of the year. And I wanted to bury the memories of being the kid who literally had to fight in school just to gain respect.

So college for me was an opportunity to hit the reset button and actually put on a mask. But Thursday, that Thursday, I felt exposed. Our first activity that Thursday consisted of two presenters passing out note cards to each student in our cohort. And with these note cards, they asked us to write something down that we had been through that no one would know by looking at us.

And not only that, pass those note cards to the front of the room to be read aloud anonymously. I mean, here I am, trying to run away from my past, and here it is right in front of me again. But the stories of triumph, the stories of overcoming that I heard from my fellow cohort members, it gave me a sense of truth and a spirit of authenticity.

And then it finally hit me. It finally hit me. I was reminded of why we were all together in that room, why each and every one of us sat in the seat that day. The truth was that this was a program for foster youth in higher education. Each and every one of us was working to defy the odds, to join a 3% of foster youth to graduate from college. Each and every one of us, as former foster youth, was working to overcome generational burdens, many of us generational traumas, from four to five generations maybe, that we didn’t choose, we didn’t want to accept, but it was put on us to overcome.

And it’s safe to say that after that activity, my conversations for the rest of the week were less casual and more authentic. So the girl with the tattoos and I, we went for a walk that evening around campus. We ended our night in the lawn of our dormitory, watching the moon peek above the buildings on campus. While laying in the grass, we started to share what led us to this point in life.

What had us join this program, and even telling stories of some of our traumatic experiences. As she began to share, I remember noticing which note card was hers. She looked down in the grass with her eyes filled with tears. And she began to share with me that both her mother and her grandmother were victims of suicide.

I grabbed her hand to affirm how she felt in that moment. Then I begin to share my story. That there were two generations of drug abuse on my mom’s side of the family, and three generations of domestic violence on my dad’s side of the family. And these, everyone, these are the examples of the invisible burdens that many of us are carrying around.

While you may not have gone through what I’ve experienced or gone through what she’s experienced, each and every one of us, each and every one of us have things in our past, a family history, and many of us have traumas that we are working to overcome. These are what I would like to call inherited traumas.

Inherited traumas being generational traumas that are normalized by the previous generation, maybe your parents, maybe your grandparents. Generational traumas normalized by the previous generation and passed down to you, maybe as a part of your identity, maybe even a part of a cultural standard, but ultimately normalized in your lifetime and passed down to you.

Now, four years from that moment of laying in the grass and the greatest year of all of our lives, it’s 2020, right? Hopefully not reminiscing about it, don’t think about it, it’s okay, it’s all right, I won’t take you back. But four years from that moment, I was blessed to have the girl that I met during the orientation week become my wife.

And while marriage has been amazing, it’s been such a blessing, we had to be intentional about our past, that our past doesn’t influence our future in a relationship that we have today. But the question I have for you all, the question I want you to think about as you leave here today, is how long will we allow inherited trauma to impact who we are today?

How long will we allow inherited trauma to impact the relationship that we form? And how long will we allow inherited trauma to impact the future of our families? Now, before we were married, while we were still dating, we took an exam called the ACES Assessment. By show of fans, how many of you have heard of the ACES Assessment? How many of you have taken the ACES Assessment? Quite a few people.

ACES stands for Adverse Childhood Experiences. It’s one of the greatest predictors of our future outcomes. It assesses child abuse and childhood experiences as a public health problem. Based on your social and economic status, of where you work, live, play, and learn, some of us may have experienced more ACEs, or traumatic experiences than others. The ACEs Assessment is on a scale of one to ten. With one being the least amount of traumatic experiences, and ten being the most amount of traumatic experiences.

While we knew we had some things in our past we needed to work out and deal with, we were completely unaware of the score we would receive. And for me, while I took the ACES exam, I remember going question after question, marking a yes, and then another yes, and then another yes. And then, as heartbreaking as it was, we received our score. I had a score of a nine, and my wife had a score of a ten. The two highest scores you can receive on the exam. I guess for me on the bright side, this is one of the exams in my life where I did have a high score, so I was pretty happy about that. I’m like, hey, let’s celebrate that, you know?

But honestly, what’s the story behind the numbers? You see, two-thirds of participants have at least one or more ACE on the assessment. While one in five participants score at least a three or higher on the assessment. But let’s take it a step further. Taking it a step further, we have the different categories of ACEs. These categories of ACEs consist of abuse, neglect, and household dysfunction. These are the categories in which the assessment is based off of.

But let’s take it a step further. A step further than the numbers, and a step further than the categories themselves. I would like to highlight the iceberg. We see the tip of the iceberg is what we would like to show to the outside world; our actions, our behaviors, and for me for a long time, my accomplishments. The things we would like to highlight or showcase to the outside world.

But what’s underneath the tip of the iceberg? What’s underneath the tip of the iceberg, a lot of times is our traumas, our ACEs, our family histories, and maybe for you it’s something that many of us, that we’ve written down in a note cart that people would know about us, and something we have yet to deal with. And if we haven’t dealt with what’s underneath the tip of the iceberg, if we haven’t dealt with that yet, and it goes unaddressed, and it goes unresolved, it can easily become a part of our inherited trauma.

And then it doesn’t just become an inheritance just to you, it becomes an inheritance also for your children as well. And speaking of children, my wife and I wanted to wait at least four to five years before having children once we were married. But 2022 came rolling around, and one day she told me that her body starts to feel a bit different, and many of you know exactly what that means. So we decided to take a pregnancy test, and we saw two red lines. Two red lines that changed our life forever.

After a few Google searches, not knowing exactly what that meant, shocked, confused, we took five more pregnancy tests. We had to be sure. But August 2022 came, and we had our baby girl. And while being a parent has been such an eye-opener, has been incredible, has been amazing, I still have this sense of fear in my heart that, what if my generational trauma, what if my inherited trauma, the things that have been normalized for me as a child -the abuse, the neglect, the household dysfunction – what if what’s been normalized to me, becomes normal to her? What if my inherited trauma becomes an inheritance to her?

You see, all of our children are looking at us to lead them, to guide them, and to create the example for them, and looking at us to create their normal. But what happens when generational trauma becomes our normal? You see, when generational trauma becomes normalized, it turns into violence ripping apart families and communities. When generational trauma becomes normalized, it turns into substance abuse tearing apart entire family’s neighborhoods. And when generational trauma is normalized, it leaves nine-year-old boys like me, joining nearly half a million kids, a part of the foster care system in America.

So what do we do? How do we redefine the normal? How do we redefine the normal for ourselves, for families, and communities, and those around us? You see, if you were to draw a circle of 0.6 mile radius around a child’s home, you will be able to predict their future outcomes. Based on your environment, their education, neighborhood, and most importantly, parental influence. Yes, I believe that parental influence is the game changer. Of how we love, lead, and guide the next generation can make a world of difference.

In fact, studies showed that kids who grew up in a two-parent household are 40% more likely to graduate from college. And that’s just one aspect of parental influence. But all of us in this room, we play different roles. Some of you may currently be parents. Others may be parents down the line. And many of us know someone who’s raising a child.

So what are some simple but impactful things that we can do to make a world of difference for the society around us? Number one, the number one thing I believe we can do, is have a vision for our relationship, a vision for our relationship that consists of challenging one another to be a better version of ourselves.

Maybe it looks like you taking the ACES Assessment before you join together in a relationship. Maybe that looks like you going home, digging through your drawers, finding a note card, and writing something down that you’ve been through that people wouldn’t know by looking at you. And asking yourself, have you dealt with what’s on that note card?

The number two thing I would say, the number two thing we can do to redefine a normal is invest in the future of our children. Invest in the future of our children. While financial investment is amazing, it’s important, it’s incredible, I love it. But even more important, and even more impactful is investing in our children. What it looks like, is making sure that they can grow up and be loving and caring parents themselves, making sure that they become loving and caring parents themselves. But also being aware that we need to raise our children, knowing that how we treat them today, would be the same way they treat others when they become an adult.

And last but not least, easily most importantly, as a wise and amazing man once said, is to love your neighbor as you love yourself. While many of us play different roles, not all of us will be parents, but we can be amazing tutors, we can be incredible mentors, and we can all be loving neighbors. And as stated by Josh Ship, “Every child is one caring adult away from being a success story.”

So how can you be that caring adult? How can you redefine a normal? You must become intentional with the relationships that you form. You must invest in the future of our children. And simply, what you can do, is be one caring adult. Not only just working to help someone beat the odds, but change the odds for families and communities for generations and generations to come.

Thank you.

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Olivia Remes: How to cope with anxiety @ TEDxUHasselt

While mental health was once a topic rarely talked about in public, thankfully the stigma continues to fade away and issues are now discussed more often in forums such as TED/TEDx events. In her talk at TEDxUHasselt, Olivia Remes gives the audience a few tips on how to cope with anxiety. We’ve all felt anxious at some point in our life – most likely, many times – but in these cases the feeling goes away once the situation that caused our anxiety has passed. On the other hand, anxiety disorders are of a more serious nature.

An anxiety disorder is different from “normal” anxiety. “Abnormal” anxiety is defined by excessive and persistent worries that don’t go away, even when there’s nothing to be stressed or nervous about. With an anxiety disorder, people usually try to avoid triggering situations or things that worsen their symptoms. – Healthline Media

Olivia is primarily talking about those people affected by anxiety disorders, but the techniques that she presents have much broader application. Watch her talk, then come back to review her transcript, as well as the comments I’ve made. Notice how she begins with a story, then moves to an explanation of the topic, before shifting to the suggestions regarding how to deal with anxiety.

Transcript (my notes in red)

Olivia invites the audience into a pair of situations that may be familiar to a lot of people.

Imagine that you’re getting ready to go to a party. You feel excited, but also nervous, and you’ve got this feeling in your stomach almost like another heartbeat.

There’s something holding you back, holding you back from getting too happy. “No, you mustn’t get too happy. Better to be cautious, otherwise, something bad might happen.” You start wondering, “Who should I talk to when I get there? What if no one wants to talk to me? What if they’ll think I’m weird?”

When you arrive at the party, someone comes up to you and starts talking with you, and as this is happening, your mind starts racing, your heart begins pounding, you start sweating, and it feels almost like you’re dissociating from yourself, like it’s an out-of-body experience, and you’re just watching yourself talk.

“Keep it together,” you say to yourself, but you can’t, and it’s just getting worse. After a few minutes of conversation, the person you’ve been speaking to leaves, and you feel utterly defeated. This has been happening to you in social situations for a long time.

Or imagine that every time you go out, and you’re in crowded places, you feel this panic starting to arise. When you’re surrounded by lots of people, like on a bus, you start to feel hot, nauseous, uneasy, and to prevent this from happening, you start avoiding a lot of places which makes you feel lonely and isolated.

You or the person in both of these scenarios have anxiety disorders. And what I can tell you is that anxiety is very common, much more than people think. Right now, one in 14 people around the world have an anxiety disorder, and each year, it costs over 42 billion dollars to treat this mental health problem. To show you the impacts that anxiety has on someone’s life, I will just mention that anxiety can lead to depression, school dropout, suicide.

There are a few ways to quote statistics, and in this case, Olivia decided to say, “one in 14 people”. That calculates to 7.1%, and she could have decided to quote that statistic instead. Is one or the other easier for you to understand? Is one way more impactful than the other?

It makes it harder to focus, and to hold down a job, and it can lead to relationship breakdown. But a lot of people don’t know this. That’s why, a lot of times, people sweep anxiety under the rug, as just nerves that you need to get over, as a weakness. But anxiety is so much more than that. A reason why so many people don’t think it’s important is that they don’t know what it is. Is it your personality? Is it an illness? Is it a normal sensation? What is?

That’s why it’s important to differentiate what is normal anxiety, from what is an anxiety disorder. Normal anxiety is an emotion that we all get when we’re in stressful situations. For example, let’s say, you’re out in the woods, and you come face-to-face with a bear. This will probably make you feel a little bit anxious, and you’ll probably want to start running like crazy. This anxious feeling that you get is good because it protects you, it saves you, and it makes you want to hightail it out of there, although maybe it’s not such a good idea to start running when you see a bear. I really don’t think you can outrun a bear.

Anxiety helps us meet our deadlines at work and deal with emergencies in life, but when this anxiety emotion is taken to the extreme, and arises in situations which don’t pose a real threat, then that’s when you might have an anxiety disorder.

For example, people with generalized anxiety disorder worry excessively and constantly about everything going on in their lives, and they find it very difficult to control this worry. They also have symptoms like restlessness, fear, they find it hard to fall asleep at night, and they can’t concentrate on tasks.

It’s often the case that when presenting a scientific topic to the public they will only have a general, and sometimes minimal, level of knowledge about it. In this situation, there’s not only a need to describe anxiety disorder, but to differentiate it from our normal anxious reaction to a specific situation. If you’re story involves a technical or complex subject, not just those based in science, think about how you can explain the topic clearly to an audience in a short period of time.

In spite of whatever kind of anxiety you might be suffering from, there is something that you can do to lower it. It works, and it’s simpler than you may think. All too often, we’re given medication for mental disorders, but it doesn’t always work in the long run. Symptoms often come back, and you’re back to where you started.

So here’s something else to consider. The way you cope or handle things has a direct impact on how much anxiety you’re experiencing, and if you tweak the way you’re coping, then you can lower your anxiety. In our study at the University of Cambridge, we showed that women living in poor areas have a higher risk for anxiety than women living in richer areas. These results didn’t surprise us, but when we looked closer, we found that women living in poor areas, if they had a particular set of coping resources, they didn’t have anxiety, while women living in poor areas without these coping resources had anxiety.

When addressing topics involving health, it’s important to back up your recommendations with research – studies, experiments, clinical trials, etc. In this talk, I would have preferred that Olivia provide some details regarding the study she mentions. How many people were studied? Over what period of time? How was the study conducted? This could be done in a couple of sentences and would create a stronger foundation for her story, in my opinion.

Other studies showed that people who had faced extreme circumstances, who had faced adversity, been through wars and natural disasters, if they had coping resources, they remained healthy and free of mental disorders, while others, facing the same hardships but without coping skills went on a downward spiral and developed mental disorders.

Beyond the examples given in the opening of the talk, this represents an important addition. Wars and natural disasters happen in many countries, and the effects on those who live through them can be serious. Considering the current state of the world, she could have added climate change to the list, as it will affect everyone.

So, what are some of these coping resources, and how can we use them to lower our anxiety?And before I dive into what they are, I’d like to point out – and I think this is so interesting – you can develop these coping resources or coping skills on your own through the things that you do; you can take charge of your anxiety and lower it, which I think is so empowering.

This is where the story pivots from explaining the problem, to presenting the solution. By also mentioning that people can utilize the coping resources on their own, Olivia captures our attention, as we now know that something tangible is coming up. The essence of any impactful talk is how the audience will benefit from the message.

Today I’ll be talking about three coping resources, and the first one is feeling like you’re in control of your life. People who feel like they’re more in control of their life have better mental health. If you feel like you’re lacking in control in life, then research shows that you should engage in experiences that give you greater control. I’ll show you what I mean.

Do you sometimes find that you put off starting something because you just don’t feel ready enough? Do you find it hard to make decisions, like what to wear, what to eat, who to date, which job to take up? Do you tend to waste a lot of time deciding what you might do while nothing gets done?

A way to overcome indecision and this lack of control in life, is to do it badly. There’s a quote by writer and poet GK Chesterton that says, “Anything worth doing, is worth doing badly the first time.” The reason why this works so well is that it speeds up your decision-making and catapults you straight into action, otherwise, you can spend hours deciding how you should go about doing something, or what you should do.

This can be paralyzing and can make you afraid to even begin. All too often, we aim for perfection, but never end up doing anything because the standards that we set for ourselves are too high, they’re intimidating, which stresses us out, so we delay starting something, or we might even abandon the whole thing altogether. Do it badly frees you up to take action.

I mean, you know how it is. So often, we want to do something perfectly. We can’t start until it’s the perfect time, until we’ve got all the skills. But this can be daunting and stressful, so why not just jump into it, just do it however, without worrying if it’s good or bad? This will make it that much easier to start something, and as you’re doing it badly to finish it, and when you look back, you’ll realize, more often than not, that actually, it’s not that bad.

A close friend of mine who has anxiety started using this motto, and this is what she said, “When I started using this motto, my life transformed. I found I could complete tasks in much shorter time periods than before. Do it badly gave me wings to take risks, to try something differently, and to have way more fun during the whole process. It took the anxiety out of everything and replaced it with excitement.” So do it badly, and you can improve as you go along. I’d like to ask you to think about this. If you start using this motto today, how would your life change?

Olivia explains her first coping technique – do it badly – in a simple, straight forward fashion, and also tells a story about someone who actually tried it. I would have framed this example by stating that there are times when the technique is not appropriate – when doing something badly can be dangerous, to yourself or others. There are times when we should wait until our skill level is adequate. If your story contains recommendations, consider whether a caveat needs to be included.

The second coping strategy is to forgive yourself, and this is very powerful if you use it. People with anxiety think a lot about what they’re doing wrong, their worries, and how bad they’re feeling. Imagine if you had a friend who constantly pointed out everything that you’re doing wrong, and everything that was wrong with your life. You would probably want to get rid of this person right away, wouldn’t you? Well, people with anxiety do this to themselves all day long. They’re not kind to themselves.

So maybe it’s time to start being kinder with ourselves, time to start supporting ourselves. And a way to do this, is to forgive yourself for any mistakes you think you might have made just a few moments ago, to mistakes made in the past. If you had a panic attack and are embarrassed about it, forgive yourself. If you wanted to talk to someone, but couldn’t muster up the courage to do so, don’t worry about it, let it go. Forgive yourself for anything and everything, and this will give you greater compassion towards yourself. You can’t begin to heal until you do this.

And last, but not least, having a purpose and meaning in life is a very important coping mechanism. Whatever we do in life, whatever work we produce, however much money we make, we cannot be fully happy until we know that someone else needs us. That someone else depends on our accomplishments, or on the love that we have to share. It’s not that we need other people’s good words to keep going in life, but if we don’t do something with someone else in mind, then we’re at much higher risk for poor mental health.

The famous neurologist Dr. Victor Frankel said, “For people who think there’s nothing to live for, and nothing more to expect from life, the question is getting these people to realize that life is still expecting something from them.”

Doing something with someone else in mind can carry you through the toughest times. You’ll know the why for your existence and will be able to bear almost any how. Almost any how. So the question is, do you do at least one thing with someone else in mind? This could be volunteering, or it could be sharing this knowledge that you gained today with other people, especially those who need it most, and these are often the people who don’t have money for therapy, and they’re usually the ones with the highest rates of anxiety disorders. Give it to them, share with others, because it can really improve your mental health.

Olivia’s second and third coping resources – regarding self forgiveness and having purpose – are topics that could be the basis of their own talk, but once again, she presents them in an easy and accessible fashion. The audience now has three techniques that they can practice on their own. Should she have also mentioned that anyone experiencing more serious issues should seek out professional help? Are the ideas you present applicable in any situation, or are there limits?

So I would like to conclude with this. Another way you can do something with someone else in mind is finishing work that might benefit future generations. Even if these people will never realize what you’ve done for them, it doesn’t matter, because you will know, and this will make you realize the uniqueness and importance of your life.

One the one hand, I appreciate the message that Olivia ends with – realizing the importance of our life by serving others – that’s very powerful, but it’s basically an extension of her third technique. It’s not a summation of the stories central theme of coping with anxiety. For me, it’s missing that wrap-up.

Thank you.

[Note: all comments inserted into this transcript are my opinions, not those of the speaker, the TED organization, nor anyone else on the planet. In my view, each story is unique, as is every interpretation of that story. The sole purpose of these analytical posts is to inspire a storyteller to become a storylistener, and in doing so, make their stories more impactful.]

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